I am kind of a anxiety guy, at least now I am and this is not relevant to anyone but me. Sometimes is harder because I start to rethink about my past and all the things that could be different and forget to follow the Don Draper`s advice: keep forward. I remember the day of the marriage of my ex-girlfriend. She was living nearby a public garden and I occupied a restaurant abandoned in front of the your house. She was so beauty with the flowers on your hair and that soft and careful white hands. At the time I was stalking her most of the time and follow her schedule with in ten or twenty meters from her gray Kia Picanto 2011. It`s a great car, she was a almost successful designer and in a little she would be driving around the SoHo with her`s husband U$80.000 Lexus RX and keep going to Nice on the summer.
In that time I had one silver Volkswagen Fox with two doors and four tires that needed to replace, that I remember. But this is not about old cars, but old past. Her husband after the marriage would get a promotion in a software enterprise in the USA, just for know.
That time I lost my house and had to sell the ring of our engagement to change the tires for keep my eyes on her life. When I was a kid I practiced some sportive shooting with a drunk uncle who a long time had been a police officer and I remember I keep that Savage 110 Precision with me, because one week before he died I did not go to our usual training and after what happened, nobody never asked about the absence in your private collection and he, you know, never would go to charge that.
It was a bright afternoon. I had drink a glass of wine that I found in the restaurant and my mind played In a sentimental mood by John Coltrane and Duke Ellington. That was our song. I fixed the gun on my left shoulder and keep tracking her with the aim. I saw her in the wedding dress first of everyone, he was truly gorgeous, terrific, like always.
I
put the finger on the trigger and tried to made my breath go down. It
was the time. I saw her one more time before I touched the cold barrel
to my jaw and made a tender movement in my right hand.
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